After
Trigger Warning: After is semi-related to Chained, which were written as companion pieces. There are countless discussions about the trauma and pain that comes with abusive relationships, but few discussions about how such abuse affects future relationships.
Everyone talks about abusive relationships.
But never about healthy ones after.
Years later, I finally found one, and I’m
unlearning toxic habits that I got from
you. My partner is teaching me
how to love myself again,
because I deserve to
heal and grow. To focus on finding myself. Learning
to love yourself after years of self-hatred
isn’t easy.
Learning to reciprocate healthy love
isn’t as simple as it seems. I’m unsure how
to grow, to change. I’m capable, I want to
be better.
I’m free from your cage, free
to heal and give the love my partner deserves.
No longer chained to the past, I’m ready to live.
Ridley Zarate
Ridley Zarate has been writing poetry since middle school. With stark simplicity, they often write about the more difficult aspects of mental health others avoid discussing. Current work on their first book of poetry brings them closer to realizing a dream: to see their work in bookstores. Five cats enjoy interrupting their writing process, and when they aren’t writing or posting to their poetry Instagram, @sleepysadpoet, they can be found reading or playing video games.
Note: The bold words in the right column are to be read as shown in each line, then read from the top down to conclude the poem.